FDA Approves Salmonella

Leave it to the Onion to make me spit my coffee out this morning.

"Rigorous testing has shown that salmonella is...fine," FDA director of
food safety Stephen Sundlof said. "In fact, our research indicates that there's
no need to pull any more foodstuffs from the market. Not raw chicken. Not
contaminated spinach. Not thousands of jars of harmful peanut butter. Not
anything."

Check out the whole article here.